look no pants
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
