Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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