I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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