my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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