Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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