Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
