there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize
