He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
