Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
