we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
