she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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