how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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