i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Someone shit on the floor
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
