I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
