ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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