You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
