Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize