and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
