Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
