sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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