You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
