I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
