If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We need to rekindle our bromance
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
