Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
