Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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