it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
