1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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