I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
