one two three fourrrrnication!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I fill condoms, not promises.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize