I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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