We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm really busy with my period
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