The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
