we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
