Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
