I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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