I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Randomize
