I love black thongs
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
