Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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