So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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