What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
