Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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