I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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