I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Welp...herpes.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
