when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
