She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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