He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
