i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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