Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
