So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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