I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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