Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
