Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
