Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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