So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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