stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
