i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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