I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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