So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
