my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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