So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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