even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
