I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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